Episode 54: Saying What You Mean

    How are you? For most of us, the quick answer is "good". It's a quick and definitive response that answers their question and doesn't necessitate further discussion. Even if you're not particularly good. Maybe you're not close enough with the person who asked to get into what's troubling you, or maybe you don't want to spend time thinking about what's troubling you and expressing it. 

    There's a woman at my church, and I won't say her name, but she always asks me how I'm doing. And I always say I am good. Because the few times I've said something other than "good", like "fine" or "okay", or even "pretty good", she asks me why I'm not good. Basically interrogates me as to why my response wasn't happier. And I really don't feel like having to explain to her why my response isn't peachy enough. I know she probably doesn't mean anything by it. It's just kind of annoying.

    While "good" is the perfect go-to response to get out of that oft-thrown-around question, I understand the importance of being honest about how you feel. I know that in relationships it's important to express your feelings rather than just pretending you're doing fine. It's important to say what you mean so you can work through your emotions and get help if you need it.

    It's important to say what you mean, but there has to be a line you draw. You have to know when it's okay to vent to someone and when it would just be preaching to the choir. Don't complain about your life to someone who is doing comparably worse than you (more on that next week!).

    There is value in openly expressing yourself, but there is also value in holding yourself back. I overall like the message of the song "Brave" by Sara Bareilles, but ultimately I think it gets the idea kinda wrong. She says, "say what you wanna say, and let the words fall out. Honestly, I wanna see you be brave".

    This is kinda bad advice. If you're currently being bullied, the last thing you should do is pop off and start yelling stuff at your bully. Odds are, that's just gonna make them angrier and thus make things worse for you.

    But part of the matter of saying what you mean concerns lying. Be honest about your intentions and don't say things just to appease someone. This is a big problem with politicians and leaders. The world would be a much better place if politicians were honest about their endgames and actually did what they said they would.

     I know this episode is a bit more ranty than most, and maybe it should've been an extra-curricular. But, oh well. I'm gonna say the thing now.

Anyway, see you next week!